The Mum Mafia never accept them and will draw up bang outside the gates, blocking the path for the school bus and insisting it’s entirely necessary because they’ve got a baby inside, or they don’t want their car being scratched. Most schools have parking rules, made for rational reasons, such as safety. The Mum Mafia wannabes - those who haven’t made the clique - are tasked with emailing relentlessly until they get their way. We know their tactics and take bets on who will come in this time. It’s a coordinated one –they take it in turns as the Queen Bee hates looking like ‘that’ mum. It’s astonishing how quickly they gather, within hours of a new decision we’re braced for the attack. If the Mum Mafia decides something needs changing – from the school menu to the uniform policy, then Queen Bee rallies the troops. I became so paranoid, I started shopping online… THEY’RE READY TO POUNCE Dating is a nightmare - I once bumped into one of the Mafia while I was on a date and the next day her son asked me about my ‘new’ man.Īnother time I hid in my local Sainsburys when I had a few bottles of wine in my shopping trolley as I knew that the rumour would start that I was an alcoholic. It’s not only our teaching methods that are regularly hammered but the Mafia want in on our personal lives too. It was rated actually ‘good’…but she made everyone believe it was by a whisker rather than looking stupid.
